Hard
I had a really, really rough day yesterday. I was completely blind sided by a day of gastric upset and exhaustion like I haven't yet seen. I think the hardest part about it was that I had no idea it was coming. During the weeks I have chemotherapy I expect to be out of commission, but I had no idea this would happen. That more than a week after I had my last treatment I would suffer such a complete shut down.
Marnie and I had to scramble to get Lucy taken care of, our friend Adrienne and her daughter Stella came through again, thank god. I am realizing I have to let go. We are some how going to have to figure out how to get Lucy into childcare more regularly. This is much to my objection and great sadness. Letting go of this is definitely a work in progress for me.
There is so much more to say about this topic. I realize I am not sure how to share it all. Suffice to say I am feeling blind sided in many different ways right now and I am not sure how or where to ask for help.
posted by southern girl @ 4:12 PM
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3 Comments:
I wish I could wave a magic wand, and make it all better. Holding on, having faith - it isn't easy. But there are a lot of people out here rooting for you.
Hey Ramsey--
I thats one of the most hateful things about the Land of Being Really Sick--you never know what's around the corner, and you never know when you will spend a day just knocked off you ass. I feel sad that you had such a hard day, and sad that you have to make hard choices about childcare, etc. And I have faith in your ability to fight, to endure, to love--all the things you need to support your health. Cheers to you, Sandra
Ramsey,
I'm so sorry you had a difficult week. Just remember how strong you are and that you will get through this. I know you're upset about needing some outside help with Lucy. There are some amazing daycare options out there and I'm sure there are some great places in your area. Developmentally at Lucy's age it could be great for her to have that daily interaction with other kids her age. And that will give you part of the day to focus on yourself without feeling guilty about not feeling well. You need that time to yourself, to focus on you. You have no idea how much I wish I was out there to help you...or at minimum able to travel out to help you. But unfortunately it looks like I'll be homebound (per the Doc) for another 2 months at least. Please call me if you need some moral support. I love you!
Lisa
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