Sorry it's been so long

This last round of chemo was not nearly as bad as the previous one. Now I am really dealing with daily fatigue and general physical weakness. This as you can imagine is not easy with a 19 month old.

Speaking of that little ball of toddler energy I am really enjoying
this age.


She is always, and I mean always on the move, unless she is sleeping. In general she is a happy pretty easy to please little girl. Her language has continued to explode. She is stringing words together into phrases like crazy. Her new favorite word is "mine." A couple of weeks ago her closest toddler girl friend came over one morning to play and she spent the first 30 minutes trying to figure out how to gather and hold all of her toys so said friend could not play with any of them. It was really funny and it is really hard trying to explain sharing to a kid her age, but we are working on it.

She recently got her first bike and her very own potty. She walks around says bicycle over and over again. I assure you there will be pictures in the very near future. She and Marnie watched the Tour de France last weekend and she kept pointing at the tv and yelling "bicycle, bicycle, bicycle." Some times she even says it in her sleep. She also goes to the back door and looks out into the yard and tells it goodnight then she pats her head and says "helmet." She is needless to say obsessed.

As for the potty she likes to sit on it and hold the toilet paper in her hand like she is going to wipe. She has been showing real interest in the potty for quite a while and we decided it was time to get her her very own and see what happens. She's is definitely interested but I think it will be a while before we make any real progress toward no diapers.

I am so honored to get to watch this little being I helped create grow up. I will say it again it is the best work of my life.

Hear That Bell?

I'm back in the ring for round four today. Got some great news yesterday from my surgeon. When I go see her she always checks out the mass and then measures it. It now measures smaller than it did when I first had the mammogram that propelled me down this rabbit hole. Approximately 2.5cm! This is welcome news right before getting pumped full of toxins.

Thursdays

Thursdays are my "day off." We have finally settled on a childcare provider that we and Lucy really like. So every Thursday Lucy goes to see Anne for the day. Marnie gets her up in the morning and takes her and then picks her up at the end of the day. I have had two days off so far. It is nice not to have to get up at any certain time, to take as long as I like at the store with out a tiny voice saying "cracker" or asking to "go, go." But by the end of the day I want her home with me. When I see her, I scoop her up into my arms and tell her how much I missed, her then I ask her about her day. She almost always says "fun." I miss her, but I love having this day to myself.

Tired

It seems the biggest battle right now is fatigue. I feel like myself accept for the fact that I am exhausted, even if I take a nap when Lucy does, by about 4pm every day. I am pushing through. I keep telling myself that if all goes well I will be done with chemo the last week in August. Only 3 more to go.

Hats

So if you read this blog regularly you know that my friend Stacey sent me a couple of way cool hats, one of which I wear all the time. I have also had the privilege of getting a hat from my friend Alfa that I love and has good vibes crocheted in ever stitch. I have received several other hand made hats from other friends near and wide. This seems to be a trend one which I love and welcome whole heartedly.

I love hats, always have. I actually look pretty good in them. So I am on a quest now it seems for obvious reasons for col hats. Every where I go I look for them. It's a fun way to make an otherwise depressing situation bearable.

Generosity Abounds

When we moved to Vallejo from Oakland a year or so ago it took me a while to warm up to it. Let's just say in the last 3 or 4 months I have really finally stopped wanting to move back to the East Bay, well almost.

Late last summer I joined the MOMS Club of Vallejo-West it really helped and made me feel like I was putting down roots. I have meet some wonderful moms and dads. Lucy and I have joined a GREAT play group. I have made a couple of amazing new friends, the kind I haven't made in years. Unfortunately one of them moved away, far away (you know who you are). But the other one is still here and has really been like a sister, as has the one who moved far away, but she is after all, far away. Can you tell I am bitter about her move (this is mostly meant to be funny.)

So, when a few weeks ago when the President of our MOMS Club suggested to my friend who remains that we might contact our parent organization the International MOMS Clubabout their Mother-To-Mother fund I was touched. You see it seems that headquarters has a fund that helps members suffering from financially devastating personal and natural disasters. Chapters contribute to the Fund and the money is given as grants to MOMS Club families experiencing emergency situations.

I talked it over with Marnie and we thought it might be something that could really help us right now. We have structured our lives so that I could stay home with Lucy and it did not include me having a devastating illness. So needless to say help like this would be welcome right now. So, said friend put together a great letter to send off to International describing our plight. We heard at the end of last week that we got the grant. More than I ever thought possible. This will go along way for childcare and commuting costs back and forth to the doctors. I feel like I can let out the breath I seemed to have been holding for quite a while. The generosity of even strangers is staggering some times. Thanks MOMS!!!