Southern Girl - aka "SpawnMama"

"This is about the human heart"

2008-11-13T16:13:00.000-08:00

Quote

2008-11-10T16:47:00.000-08:00

I saw this quote here.

"The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases." - Carl Jung

It spoke to me particularly in light of the Prop 8 fight here in California. We will not go quietly. This fight is long from over.

This is worth reading

2008-11-08T10:08:00.001-08:00

You Can Forget My Taxes - The Daily Beast

Results

2008-11-06T10:07:00.000-08:00

I went to see my oncologist yesterday to get the results of my PET/CT scan and all was well. There is one little lymph node in my upper neck that shows a little inflammation. The only reason it is of concern for me is because I have had breast cancer.

The doc said at any given time any of us might have a lymph node that could be inflamed and would show up that way in a scan. For example, I had strep throat in September and a I also have a wisdom tooth that needs to be pulled (don't ask) and either of these things could be the cause of the inflammation.

So in 6 weeks I go back to the doc for her to take another poke at my neck and the in about 3 or 4 months I will have a CT scan to see if the inflammation has gotten any larger.

I am a little concerned but feel very confident in my team of doctors and their decisions. I am trying to put it out of my mind and wait and see.

Feeling

2008-11-05T15:56:00.000-08:00

I am feeling bittersweet today. While I am beyond words excited about the presidential election, I am so profoundly disappointed about Prop 8 passing here in California. I am also more than a little embarrassed that I live in the only county in the Bay Area that voted yes to take away the right of gay people to marry.

More than 16,000

2008-11-03T20:48:00.000-08:00

From the LA Times:

Religions and their believers are free to define marriage as they please; they are free to consider homosexuality a sin. But they are not free to impose their definitions of morality on the state. Proposition 8 proponents know this, which is why they have misdirected the debate with highly colored illusions about homosexuals trying to take away the rights of religious Californians. Since May, when the state Supreme Court overturned a proposed ban on same-sex marriage as unconstitutional, more than 16,000 devoted gay and lesbian couples have celebrated the creation of stable, loving households, of equal legal stature with other households. Their happiness in no way diminishes the rights or happiness of others.

Read the whole article here.

Thanks to Alternate Entries for this post.

Vote! Vote! Vote!

Spawn as Fairy

2008-11-03T10:56:00.001-08:00

Anxiety

2008-11-02T11:29:00.000-08:00

Every year around this time I have to go for a routine PET/CT Scan. It is something my team of cancer doctors order just to make sure all is still clear. I had my scan last week and I won't find out the results until this Wednesday. For reasons I don't fully understand myself I am convinced something is wrong so my anxiety level is pretty high.

It also doesn't help that one of the most, if not the most, important elections of my life time is happening this Tuesday.

Please if you haven't already done it. Vote!

Stay tuned for test results.

Spawn In The Hay Maze

2008-11-01T15:08:00.001-07:00

Interesting

2008-10-31T13:45:00.000-07:00

“ Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken". -Warren Buffet

Well Said

2008-10-29T22:30:00.000-07:00

One of the happiest days of my life.

It is about discrimination, really it's that simple

2008-10-28T20:54:00.001-07:00

I come from a state that had on the books until the late 90's a law that stated that whites and blacks could not marry. It was a law that was not enforced anymore but none the less it had never been removed until the late 1990's. I also come from a state that saw three little girls blown up in a church and dogs let loose on people. It is hard for me to know what is being said outside the state about the Prop 8 campaign, but I will tell you it has gotten pretty nasty. No dogs have been let loose, not fire hoses opened up, but people have been physically attacked and verbally abused, and some how the Yes on 8 campaign has made this be about children. Really of you look at the basics of it all it's about one group of people wanting to discriminate against another group of people and that is a very very very slippery slope people. I am scared for my daughter and I am scared for my country.

My Heart

2008-10-26T21:08:00.000-07:00

Our Ceremony

2008-10-21T16:56:00.001-07:00

The wedding was amazing. The perfect day with friends and family. I just thought I would share our ceremony with folks:

Officiant:

We are here today to take advantage of time. Not just the time that we have to enjoy each other, something that can be fleeting because of carelessness or fate. But this unique time in California when the words Marnie and Ramsey are about to say are recognized, not just as true, but with a legal force. They stand before us in celebration, saying, in essence, “Welcome to our marriage.” And our presence tells them that they are, in fact, loved by many.

These two people have already started a life together. They have already weathered the promises of traditional vows. Sickness and health. Richer and poorer. Instead, we can talk about the realities of love. When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. That is impossible. It is even a disservice to pretend it is possible. Yet that is what most of us demand. We have such little faith in the ebb and flow of life and of love and of relationships.

We leap forward at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb, for we are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanence, on duration, on continuity. But the only continuity possible in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity and in freedom.

I speak now to Marnie and Ramsey and ask them to have trust and faith in each other. They must recognize that they are super heroes to each other. Each with powerful strengths, and hidden weaknesses. And they must use that strength wisely and, against all instinct, share their weaknesses openly. They must hold their own, and the other’s, heart with tenderness.

I speak also to Lucy. Because this celebration recognizes that she has made this couple a family, one that extends to all of us, but one that lives in these three. Lucy, please hold up the rings?

Marnie:
May this ring forever be to you the symbol of my growing love.

Ramsey:
May this ring forever be to you the symbol of my growing love.

Officiant:
May these two find happiness in their union. May they live faithfully together, executing the vows they have made between them; and may they ever remain compassionate and encouraging, that their years may be rich with the joys of life, and their days be long upon the Earth.

I now pronounce you married.

Goin' to the Chapel and We're Gonna Get Married

2008-10-16T11:18:00.000-07:00

Well really our backyard. Saturday is our wedding day. We have pulled it together in about a month. It's small. It's informal. It's a party, really, with a wedding attached. I am excited beyond belief, and needless to say a bit stressed out with last minute details. Most of all I am excited I get to marry the woman I love. To say to her in front of everyone that I commit to her in a way I never thought possible.

We went this AM to get the marriage license. I had no idea how excited I was going to be to get a marriage license but I was. Please if you would like to get us something for the big day you can give us the greatest gift possible for our family. Help keep Prop. 8 from passing so that we can stay married and that others like us can continue to get married. Just as a point of reference more than 11,000 have already gotten married in the state.

Here's how to donate: http://eqfed.org/equalityforall/fundraising/webb-695295

This Pretty Much Sums It Up

2008-10-08T12:18:00.000-07:00

Why I like Obama for President:

The Choice: Comment: The New Yorker

If Lucy were older I wonder

2008-09-29T17:22:00.000-07:00

what she would say...

Spawn

2008-09-17T15:50:00.000-07:00

photo by Marnie

What I said to her

2008-09-14T20:50:00.000-07:00

On April 17, 2005 we had a naming ceremony for Lucy here at our house. We had just moved in only a month or so before. It was a glorious spring day and we had many friends and family here to celebrate our new baby.

I was poking around on my old computer trying to find a copy of the ceremony because a friend wanted to know a particular quote we used. I started reading what was said and read and it was lovely. It brought tears to my eyes and now that I know my little girl a bit better means even more to me now.

Here is what I wrote and read to her that lovely spring afternoon:

Lucy, you are the best thing I have ever done with my life. You bring me so much joy and because of you I feel love I never knew possible. And that love continues to grow each day that I am with you making each day a blessing.

You are the most beautiful being I have ever known. Lucy, sweet, gentle soul, it is an honor to be chosen to be your mother, and I take on my commitment to you with wonder, excitement and a promise to do all I can to help you grow up to be whoever you will be, no matter what. I give you my unending, unconditional love.

Welcome to our family Lucy and to this wondrous world, I love you and I will always be here for you. May you find your heart’s desire in this life, may you love well, live well, and experience all the joy life has to offer. May you be blessed with abundance, peace, clarity, vision, wisdom and hope for these things will take you far. I love you little one and I always will.

Almost 40

2008-09-10T16:01:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was the 3-Day 60 Mile Breast Cancer Walk I have been training for and let me just say it ranks in one of the top ten events of my life. It was empowering, exhausting and downright fun. My friends Radha and Jay joined me as team rjr.

We talked and walk for 3 days. We talked about our kids, our past, our partners, our families and on and on. I can't remember the last time I had this kind of uninterrupted time with friends. It was wonderful.

Along the way I meet some terrific people.

Like the woman on day two I met on the bus back to pit stop 5 who wanted to walk back over the Golden Gate Bridge to camp with me. She was from Wisconsin and was here with 3 other friends walking. She was delightful and gave me some great advice about raising a daughter.

The woman I saw on day one who did a training walk with me in Concord a few weeks ago, I had the honor of cheering her into camp.

The woman who came out to cheer us on when we left the Cow Palace on day one. She was clearly in throws of chemo and holding her toddler son, while her husband stood by holding a sign saying "thank you for walking". I wanted to hug her and tell her I once knew how scared she is and to hang in there.

The woman who needed 2 walking sticks to help her make it through the day. She had a team of about 8 women walking with her. Everyday she made it to camp they would form a circle around her, drop and do push ups while cheering her accomplishment.

An then there was the crew.

The bicycle guy who road along side us to make sure we were safe and cheer us on. He seemed to appear at the most needed moments.

The woman who in the morning and afternoon helped us cross some really busy intersections and always had something really funny to say.

The guy who worked at the food tent and wore a hair net on his completely bald head and then went out and walked every mile with us everyday, one day actually wearing the hairnet while he walked.

I could go on and on and on.

The power of it all was palpable. I manage to walk almost 40 miles, way more than my goal. The last 6 miles with my feet taped by a wonderful chiropractor named Rachel.

Walking into holding on the final day was overwhelming. The path was lined with my fellow walkers some 2000 strong all yelling and cheering for me and my wonderful little team. There were a lot of high fives, pats on the back and tears.

The closing ceremonies held under foggy cold skies at Marina Green were emotional to say the least. We survivors were separated from the rest of the walkers and given pink 3-Day shirts. There were about 80 of us. We walked into a special circle in the center of all our fellow walkers who were on one knee saluting us with one of their shoes in the air. Quite a moving sight.

I couldn't have done it without my little family. Marnie and Lucy's Saturday visit was a shot in the arm and their support at closing ceremonies meant the world to me. And then there is all of you who donated so that I could walk. I made my goal and then some. My undying gratitude to all of you that I know and don't know. Your money will go to help create a world with out breast cancer. A world in which hopefully my daughter and others will never have to face what I faced two years ago.

P.S. The participants in the San Francisco 3-Day Breast Cancer Walk raised almost 5 million dollars.

Working on it

2008-09-10T08:09:00.001-07:00

I am working on a post about the 3-Day last weekend. It was an experience of a life time. Stay tuned.

Day 3

2008-09-07T04:09:00.000-07:00

Final Day 14.6 miles. Feet tired but no blisters yet.

Day Two

2008-09-06T10:06:00.000-07:00

How we started our day. Really beautiful with the sunrise coming up over the city.

We wre at lunch now and it is hot.

camp @ Crissy Field

2008-09-05T16:27:00.000-07:00

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Ocean Drive in SF at mile 9

2008-09-05T15:53:00.001-07:00

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